GPRO Valparaiso Palace and Spa

Please bear with me as this is going to be long.In no uncertain terms was this hotel the worst experience in a hotel I've ever had. And I travel globally for work, outside of covid probably 9-10 times a year for the past 7 years. In no particular order: 1. There were kids screaming and running around on my floor for the first 2 days, so I went out in the corridor to see my neighbour had left their door open for their kids to do so. I asked him if he could please close the door, at which point he walked right up to my face and offered to fight me (continually threatening me). 2. I borrowed an iron, which took them 2 hours to send up. Though that was an underwhelming disappointment compared to when the iron then set on fire once I turned it on. 3. The staff were unbelievably rude and useless. I indicated prior to arrival that I would be arriving at 11am, and hoped I could get in a room before the 3pm allocated check-in but the receptionist told me that I could use the disabled toilet to change if I liked, but would have to wait 4 hours (and be charged 6 euro's for a small glass bottle of coke). They also make you pay the full stay's charge before you even see the room, in addition to a 260e charge that they refused to explain what it was for (apart from 'every customer pays this') despite there being nothing in the room in terms of amenities, the mini-bar was empty etc. 4. My airpod's were stolen from beside the pool and there were no camera's that I could see in the whole hotel, and the hotel just fobbed me off when I asked if they could help with the situation. 5. COVID WARNING: There was a cryptocurrency conference being held at the hotel when I arrived, many of whom didn't care about masking up and who kept offering us their business cards regardless of being nothing to do with the conference. We also were never given any indication there would be a conference held there. It significantly increase the risk of catching covid to those who were staying there.The staff wore masks when busy, but later on most of them weren't wearing them, and staff upstairs including cleaning staff were rarely wearing them covering more than their mouth. 6. The room itself was a shambles. The air conditioning was akin to someone breathing on you, and the control on the wall only had off and on working, as it was evidently from appearance built before christ was nailed to the cross. The bed was im sure made from a cardboard alloy, as was incredibly uncomfortable, only trumped by the filling of the pillows. The bathroom was so tightly designed that you had to close one door to open another, like a structurally engineered sudoku puzzle. Also I paid 30% more than the person I was travelling with for a 'supreme(ly awful)' room, but yet there wasn't really any noticeable difference between the two. So don't bother there. The shower gel did however smell lovely. 7. The doors to the room didn't automatically close, which I noticed led to a huge amount of doors being left open during the day as the occupants hadn't realised this...because lets be honest even most hostels have automatically closing doors. 8. The hotel itself was similar to the rooms, just hugely dated and felt like nothing had been updated since it won its tui award in 2012- for what I can only imagine must have been the yearly house of horrors prize. You may have ascertained this from the above, but after 35 years on this planet I really can say that if there's one lesson I've learned it is that every man, woman and child should try and get a restraining order on this hotel. Appalling just doesn't do it justice, it nearly ruined my holiday.

I visited on 25 July 2021 with my wife for a four night stay. The hotel staff were friendly and competent and the room was clean, although it was necessary to request additional pillows and toilet roll from house keeping. The breakfast was great, plenty of choice and well stocked. Noting the restrictions associated with Covid, I would have expected complimentary water to be available for all guest in reception and waiter service at the pool was almost non-existent. If staffing levels were reduced due to Covid perhaps a refund should have been offered or the option for a total refund to enable a hotel to be booked with a full service. The location is just awful, up on a steep hill in the middle of nowhere, be prepared to travel everywhere by taxi if you wish to see Palma or indeed even the local areas. This is allegedly a 5 star hotel that has no tea/coffee making facilities in the room, just an unstocked mini bar, a fridge basically! Really? A five star hotel, I don???t think so!!